Home no more

I’m lost. And it’s my own fault. It’s about time I figured out that I can’t ask people to keep me found.

Anne Sexton

potatoAlmost all my things, with the exception of clothing and a few kitchen and grooming tools are in storage in California.  I’ve looked for housing near the family in Oregon and realized that it’s beyond my budget unless I were to work and it’s highly unlikely that I’ll work for others again.  I can, it’s just likely I wouldn’t get hired.  I’ve thought of becoming resident in Mexico, which would allow me to move my belongings here, but my heart isn’t in that move.  I don’t qualify for becoming resident in many countries (including those where I’d most like to become resident) and those in which I could qualify, I haven’t a strong desire to do so. I feel as if I’m about to jettison all that’s in storage, then living in furnished spaces as I’ve done for the past two and a half years, surrounded by nothing that’s mine except the clothes against the skin.  I’ve lived without the few things I’ve collected and even were they to arrive again in my life, they might do so as strangers.

The Jezebel Spirit (Eno/Byrne)

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One thought on “Home no more

  1. This one scared me and I feel so far away. I am far away. But then you wrote another one , very reflective, with customary great music and it was more reassuring. Mostly it’s true– we don’t always get what we came for. Don’t know how to console you. I spend a lot of time in the past, with well- earned regrets and sadness. Must be my nature, but I do have things to look forward to and the hope that what lies around the corner will be a good thing, event, person, realization.

    Much love to you in sunny Mexico from slushy, icy NYC G

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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